We drove out to Elgin and picked up Dalton and Bailey yesterday. We weren't nervous like the last time. The closer we got, the more excited we got. We had big plans in our head and hoped that everything went well. We had chatted with the foster mom the night before and she gave me ten years of information in thirty minutes. We called Nicole and she offered to meet us in Austin.
One thing about Dalton - he's obsessed. When he found out we were coming on Saturday, he was dressed and ready to go by 7:00 am (we got there at 9:00). He asked his foster mom a hundred times if we were coming. When we pulled up into the driveway, he ran to the back porch, waved quickly and then ran back inside to get his sister. She wasn't quite ready, so he asked me a hundred times if he could go get in the car. He's worried about whatever the "next big thing" is. Once we were in the car, he wanted to know where we were going. Once he knew that, he worried aobut when we would get there. It was very manageable. It's just who he is today.
Bailey: She wasn't quite ready when we got there. The most impressive thing I saw all day was how this foster family worked together to get things done. Two brothers helped get her things together. One sister started combing her hair while the other looked for barets. Bailey stood still the whole time and let them dote on her. One of the sisters was about 10 and if I could have taken her right then and there, I would have. All of them actually.
This foster-home was amazing. The foster dad was pretty laid back and proud of his spread out there. Five acres with a pool and tons of play equipment. I huge six bedroom house with two gigantic living areas, enough books in the bookcase to be considered a library, one of those kitchen tables that seats 20. The foster mom is the epi-center. She is a ball of energy and her brain goes ten different ways the entire time she is talking. She's fostered over 200 kinds, adopted 15, and I think she has 3 of her own. Forget war heroes - give this lady (and man) a medal!
We picked up Dalton and Bailey and headed about 20 miles in to Austin to the Austin Children's Museum. They had just been to the circus the day before and we didn't want to "compete" with that. We just wanted to take them to a place that was safe for both them and us. If they broke something there, I'm sure the people at the museum wouldn't freak out. We knew we could handle it. We just wanted to make it as easy on us as we could. Nicole, their CASA worker, drove up from Ft. Hood and met us there. I was pretty happy about that. It did change the "tone" of the day. Instead of a intense day of on-the-job-parenting, it became another "job-interview" type thing, knowing that she was watching and documenting. But, in reality, it didn't really turn out like that at all. Nicole trust us already I think. I really think she wanted to make sure we knew what we're getting into and help give us some pointers on how to control the kids.
When we first got to the museum, the kids went nuts. No problem - there weren't many people there and it was fine. I wanted to corral Bailey and have Lori spend some time with Dalton, but the truth is, Dalton is fast and all boy. He was climbing stairs and it was just easier for me to keep up with him. Bailey spent a long time at the "store" serving food and taking orders. Dalton didn't stay on anything more than a few minutes before he was off to the next big thing.
It was an hour or so before Nicole got there. I hadn't told the kids, so I told Dalton that we needed to go to the front to meet a guest that was coming to see us. Of course, he obsessed on who it could be. I wasn't thinking and asked "Who do you want it to be?" Dalton responded, "My birth-mom." It was touching, it was sweet, but mostly it made me sad that I walked in to that moment. I quickly said "Who ELSE could it be?" I answered the question for him before he had a chance to answer something else I wasn't prepared for. He and Bailey were VERY excited to see Nicole. She's as close of a thing to a consistent positive female role model that they've ever had. They've had lots of positive male and females come in and out of their lives, but never for very long. Nicole has helped since day one. We were appreciatve she was there for that fact alone.
We went upstairs to a place called "Tinkers Workshop". It was a little disappointing because there were tons of peieces that were missing and broken. We had looked when we first got there, but quickly went on to bigger and better things. This time though, we made it work.
There was a table with a bunch of art supplies - egg cartons, construction paper, pipe cleaners, yogurt containers, stickers - an child artist dream. We got the kids to sit down and had, what for me was the best hour as a parent I've had to this point (granted - that's just a total of about 6 hours now). Bailey drew a picture of Lori and Nicole and made a stick figure of herself out of a popcycle stick. Dalton and I made an alien out of a toilet paper roll, pipe cleaners and whatever else we could get our hands on. I actually "helped" and made suggestions. I saw how he could focus and keep his attention on a project. We became the "Scotch Tape Kings" and made the best looking pipe cleaner alien the world has ever seen. Before he could run off, I suggested we try something else. He saw another project hanging from the ceiling and wanted to make an airplane. We snapped into action looking for supplies. We made it out of a water bottle, egg carton, pipe cleaners, and Dalton searched and searched and found a cardboard box to cut wings out. It wasn't the most aerodynamic of airplanes, but in making that airplane, we all saw the potential we had as a family. Especially Nicole I think. I think she saw the kids be happy kids and that's probably been a rare thing. There was no worry on the face of Dalton for the hour or so we did that. Bailey had two women there cheering on her every move and she ate it up like a ballerina trying to get applause. It was amazing.
We left the museum after a few hours and decided to take Nicole and the kids to eat. We didn't want to seem like lost puppies, so I drove to an area of town I was familiar with. We settled on Canolli Joes - an itialian buffet place. It was a little expensive, but totally worth it. The kids were a little over-stimulated, so we needed some space to spread out. I was proud of the kids. We are going to have our hands full with Bailey and her "inside voice". Dalton finished his meal in seconds and obsessed over dessert. We already have a well established rule after two meals now that nobody gets up until everyone is through with their meal. Once he has a rule, I think he's fine. He just needs to know what the rules are.
I'm still in shock and awe in amazement at how smart these kids are. Part of it is me being a proud parent - sure. But, Bailey is five and can spell. She was doing "Word Finds" in the car (where you circle the letters of words hidden in the puzzle). When I was five, I wouldn't have had a CLUE what that was. We played "what starts with the letter....." game most of the day. Dalton is bored stiff with that game. Dalton, I think, could play that game on a college level. "What does psychology start with? What does xylophone start with?" I'm almost certain he'd know. I watched him read AND COMPREHEND things that he was reading all day long. I watched him get to a word he didn't know and work it out until he figured out what it could have been in the context of the sentence. Not once, not twice - all day long. I helped him a couple of times. He wanted to know what we needed to "Call the Manager for Details" was about? What details? Who has parties and has to call a manager?
We took Nicole back to her car and then drove the kids home. That was the most difficult part. We happened to be in Austin on the weekend before college classes start and we got stuck in a traffic jam to end all traffic jams. We passed by the Texas Museum and there is a giant metal star out front. Bailey didn't get to see it and had a melt-down and wanted us to turn around. We got our first taste of how long she can drag out a whiney meltdown. Lori had her first "mommy-moment" where she started to loose patience and since we were stuck in the car, we weren't sure how to handle it (no time-out?). We dealt with it though. One thing we learned quickly - we can never promise something and think they'll forget about it. They have memories like steel traps. "You said we could get a toy at the end! You said we could go back and slide down the slide before we left!" "You said we could see the big star!" I'm going to shut my mouth more often I think.
Overall - it was a huge success. We tackled the Children's Museum with two rambunctious kids and came out without any injuries. I have to say - last week, Bailey was a little angel, sitting and coloring and not a handful at all. Last week, Dalton ran us around and was a potential handful to keep calm. This week? It was a complete 180. Dalton was nothing but an angel all day. Lori and I have had "expectations" that everybody has helped set up. He has a hard time listening I think, but given the attention, he is quite helpful. It's just going to take constant attention for awhile before he can do it on his own. He helped us with Bailey, shared his pencils when she dropped hers in the car, pointed things out to her, tried to help us when she had her meltdown (and was much more patient that a six year old older brother has a right to be). He was a joy. Bailey? She's going to test our limits as much as she can. She does something wrong and when we scold her, she does it one more time to see what we'll do. We noticed it right away. Lori asked for assistance from Nicole once in the Museum to see how Nicole handled it. I think that helped. Lori got a little emotional in the car once we left....but quickly got over it and we were able to talk about the details of the day.
Things like Bailey asking "Why did Jesus make scorpions? They sting." Dalton staring out the window of the car, trying to find the Super-Drum and finding it every time - a sense of direction I don't have. We think we'll get to see the kids next weekend. We're not sure where we will take them. They both start school on Monday so we hope we have some things to talk about. I can't wait.
One last thing - after we were finished, we decided to stop by Ikea and buy Dalton his bed to start setting up his room. We debated about it quite some time - it was tax-free weekend on the weekend before school starting after all. But, since we were there, we decided to brave it. Found a really neat bed and it was pretty cheap, too. We were walking out and the coincidence of all coincidences happened - something that freaked Lori and I out more than a little bit. We ran into Preston, the kids case worker. Two minutes earlier or later and we would have missed him. He lives 50 miles from Ikea and we live 50 miles away in a different direction. What are the odds of that? How does that happen? He said he had already gotten a text message from Nicole about how great the day went and we sat and chatted for awhile in the 100 degree heat. I think we were all a little amazed at the small world. We needed to talk to him about it. Simply amazing. Another sign from somewhere (God, karma, whatever) that this is what should be happening right now at this moment with these kids, these case workers, and us.
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