I really need to spend more time here. Our one year anniversary of adopting the kids is coming up and I have blogged a total of ONE time. And it was a really bad day. We're not the same family (again) that we were back then. Wow. How much we've changed. We're still dealing with some of the same issues. But, we're so much more efficient at dealing with them. Let's see how far I can get before I tire out or some distraction makes me cut this short:
Dalton - My big 3rd grader. When we left off, Dalton was in the mental ward of a local hospital. For three days, the doctors there looked down their noses at Lori and I for even considering putting such a sweet, innocent boy in such a horrible place. My response to them was - be patient. Wait until he gets bored and doesn't get what he wants. My time limit was 3 days. Right on cue - Dalton put on a show. He had to get "the shot" to knock him out. That's something reserved for people WAY out of control. Dalton has that kind of reaction. Today, yesterday - maybe forever. In the same way soldiers returning from Iraq have Post Tramatic Stress Disorder, Dalton has the same thing. If he feels slighted or doesn't get his way, his coping skills are not there. He knows hundreds of them - he just doesn't use them. Dalton spent about two weeks in the hospital before he realized that home was a better place to be. Armed with new techniques and more coping skills, they let him go.
His classmates cheered when they saw him. That was a great moment. Dalton is socially awkward, but he's liked by all his classmates when he isn't annoying them or beating their faces in. It's amazing how forgiving children can be sometimes. I'm sure I'll be amazed soon at how unforgiving they can be, too. He struggled his way through second grade but his teachers were undercover superheroes who I've attempted to adopt as well. Towards the end of the year, it was becoming apparent that Dalton was not getting what he needed to get out of school. He was spending more time in "In School Suspension" or in the office than he was in class. That being said, he got mostly all A's and B's. There might have been a C sprinkled in there for math. He's smart enough to memorize things the first time he sees them (if he wants to). So, he caught up quick. He had a hard time retaining things though. In the end, we met with a flurry of educators, therapist, etc. and we decided that Dalton needed more help than our awesome local elementary school could give him. We decided to send him to another school about 5 miles away where they had a special program for kids like Dalton. The program was called AIMS and we hated to split Dalton and Bailey up, but we felt like it was best for Dalton. He was leaving class and going into Bailey's room to give her a hug, screaming at the teachers trying to stop them. Embarrassing Bailey the whole time.
Fast forward through summer (we'll get to some of that later). Dalton has adjusted quite nicely to his new school and new program. I forget he's had to meet new people several times in his life. He's practically a professional at it. He charmed the pants off of everyone the first day. Just like at the hospital, we got the questions - "Why is he here?". It took about three weeks before he decided to test out the new system. He threw a fit in class and the AIMS teacher came and got him and he got to work it out one on one with someone else. No office. No consequences. They're still trying to figure out Dalton, but 90% of the time, he's the most entertaining and charming kid in the school. It's that 10% you gotta watch out for.
So - Dalton is still Dalton. He's gotten WAY bigger in ten months. Mostly because of the medication that he is on now. A lot because Dalton has no self control. If I let him, he'd eat until he was sick. At school he gets 3 milks and 2 entrees because nobody tells him he can't. He sneaks to breakfast at school after we feed him at home. It's not because he's hungry. It's because it's an option that he's got to check off his list or he's trying to see what will happen. Those are two Dalton-traits that have been consistent. He's in therapy every two weeks. Therapy is not something I look forward to for him. He usually has issues the night after therapy and we spend the next two weeks building him up. Then the cycle starts again. His new school has given him more time in the classroom. A couple of A's and the rest B's by the skin of his teeth. But I'll take it however I can get it.
He's come a long way in 10 months. He's not out of the woods by any means. He's still capable of throwing a monster fit and is strong enough now to injure me if he really wanted to. But - he reserves his fits for special times. I wish I knew what those special times were - but they aren't every night like they used to be. I can see the light at the end of his tunnel. It's just a very long tunnel. Dalton is all boy and he's a warrior. Every day he surprises me with what he can be.
Bailey - Lori and I have developed a private saying. "Dalton is our hope. Bailey is our sunshine." She is by no means a perfect girl.....but she is perfect. I mean, she has been through the same things as Dalton growing up, but her coping skills makes seasoned Marines seek advice. She aced first grade like it was inconvenient. She had her teacher wrapped around her finger like she hired her as her own personal nanny. She came home every day with her hair in a different kind of braid. "My teacher did it." Bailey was like her own personal barbie doll.
At one point this summer, Bailey had six boyfriends. I can't keep track. Currently, all those boyfriends are on hold for some cutie named Scottie. Even Justin Bieber is on hold for Scottie. I'm keeping my distance. Summertime day-care, Bailey learned the art of being "sassy." Sometimes I feel like there is a sixteen year old teen who's possessed my daughter with a bad attitude. It's something that doesn't make me look forward to the year 2019. But, when bribed correctly, Bailey knows how to be perfect.
She's in the second grade now and the first six weeks were a little rough. Oh - she got all A's with no problem. Her problem is her sass. She also hasn't learned how to control her teacher like she did last year. Well....maybe now she has...but it took her six weeks. Her teacher starts them out on Monday with 20 points. Every time they misbehave, she takes away a point. On Friday, if you have 15 points or less, you don't get to do Art. Bailey hasn't ever even gotten CLOSE. She averages about 5 points off a day. So, in a bout of frustration, I told Bailey that if she could go an entire week with NO ponts off, I'd throw her a party. A big cake, ice cream, balloons, present, noisemaker party. Five days later, I've got to go buy a cake, ice cream, balloons, present, and noisemakers. The little stinker PLAYED me like a violin. Five days in a row and no points off. What I thought was impossible, she did instantly. Dalton has the same kind of deal - but he didn't come close this week. He's invited to the party, so maybe that will motivate him a little.
The Parents - We've settled into the roll of parents quite nicely I think. Both of our jobs are forgiving enough to let us deal with what we have to deal with. Work has had it's challenges but for the most part, it's been drama free. We work well as a team. We have more disagreements about what to do in "the moment" but when the moment is over, one of us knows the other was correct and we apologize or we were both correct. Rarely do we have disagreements that end up in a stalemate. It happens but Lori doesn't always have to recognize that I'm correct. HA!
Everything else - We scheduled a summer vacation to Galveston. We had done the same thing last year and wanted the kids to have something to look forward to that wasn't a surprise or new experience. We did, however, throw them plenty of curves that made it new. We started by going to Houston to the Museum of Natural Science and the butterfly house. While seeing dinosaur bones was cool and all, the show was the butterflies. Dalton, not following rules as usual, tired of waiting for one to land on him so he just grabbed one and put in on his finger and alerted the whole place. Bailey was raging jealously. I patiently helped her for a looooong time until we got a pretty black and pink butterfly to become her finger companion. Dalton was even cheering for her. The butterfly wouldn't leave and we were stuck there for an hour. It was truly a glorious day. We stayed in a fancy hotel (Galleria Hilton) and they had a shuttle to the Galleria and we ate at the Rainforest Cafe and got Build-a-Bears. Again, it was everything a hallmark card was made of. The next day we got up, traveled another hour to Galveston and had a perfect day on the beach. Day 3 was the big surprise for the kids. Lori had wrangled free tickets to Schlitterbahn and we had a BLAST. Dalton made me proud by riding the real scary waterslides. Bailey, my little daredevil, did anything and everything. A perfect day. One the way home, we stopped in Kemah for lunch at the Aquarium restaurant and rode the rides at the boardwalk on Clear Lake. The kids rode their first REAL rollercoaster ever. Dalton had to be coaxed and Bailey had to be coaxed off. The photo I have of them on the ride is my favorite of all time. It was capped of by a Dalton temper tantrum in the middle of Houston traffic that almost ended in the demise of the Peters family.....but we survived with our fingers and toes in-tact. Overall, a huge success. We'll do it again next year.
Other than that, every day is a routine. Every day is new and exciting and heartbreaking and challenging and easy and complicated and simple and busy and boring and fun. I don't blog much because I'm too busy with life. That and Facebook. It's all on facebook in little details.
I'll try to get back on my writing horse. In ten months I'll write another novel. Or sooner.
