So. Last night we had to "commit" to moving forward. No big deal really. The conversation was difficult, because we had to make sure there was no stone unturned. We had to make sure that one of us wasn't waiting for the other to ask that question that neither of us wanted to know the answer to. The actions speak louder than words conversation. We both left last night's conversation a little drained but satisfied that we are as ready as we say and think we are. We keep testing that we don't have doubts. We passed all test with flying colors in my opinion. I think we are realistic in knowing we will be in over our heads. I think we are approaching it the exact correct way and others are affirming that for us by moving forward with this.
We had decided that we would meet Dalton and Bailey on Saturday, but we had questions for their caseworker. We didn't know what kind of meeting it was set up to be. Are we their prospecting long-term mommy and daddy? Are we Uncle Steve and Aunt Lori that just want to be their pal? Are we just a couple of people looking to entertain them for a day? Do they want to go back to their real mom? Do they like where they are now? Do they even WANT a permanent long-term mommy and daddy at this point? They've been burned many times before and really have had no idea why they have been moved around like they have.
We waited for him to call us nervously. We tried not to be nervous, but we both are starting to feel how real it's getting. He called and we talked on the speaker-phone for about 45 minutes. You could tell that he really cares about these two kids. He's been dealing with them from day 1 of their journey about 2 years ago. You could hear the frustration in his voice that the biological family couldn't get their act together. You could hear the hope in his voice that our situation would be better than the best situation they had been in for a short while where he saw positive progress. You could tell he's got more than just a case-workers interest in these kids. I would bet if he didn't have kids, these would be his kids.
Our minds were put at ease quickly. These kids WILL know that it is our hope that they will eventually come to stay with us forever. We'll work in to it slowly. First meeting will be a two hour play-date at McDonalds. We asked and he thought it was very appropriate for us to bring a toy or two to give them. I didn't tell, but I had already bought a couple little things that I was going to have in my pocket as a "Oh! How did THIS get in there!" type gift. He encouraged us to bring a camera, which was one of those questions we were really afraid to ask.
If all goes well, in the next week or two, we will travel the hour and a half to the home they are at to visit them on their turf. The hope is that they will be excited to see us again. Then, we'll ask if they want to come spend the night in our house. After that, I'm not sure of the time-table, but at least I can SEE how this is going to unfold. Before tonight, I wasn't sure the way I thought it should go would be the same as everyone else. Turns out, it is. Everybody cares about these kids.
SO - we have to wait till Saturday. That's going to make for one looooong Friday. And Saturday could be one of the biggest days EVER. We're both trying to play it down to each other, but we both have aknowledged the signifigance of it all.......
Saturday, I will probably be meeting my new son and daughter for the first time. How awesome is that statement? It's like Lori being pregnant with twins and being induced tomorrow. Except, that we already know a lot of the good and bad physical and emotional problems they have. It's not all good like every parent prays for. But it's not at all bad enough that you wouldn't thank God that these kids are exactly as they are. It's almost too much to put in to words. We hope that the kids love us and we are very concious that we shouldn't try too hard. We don't want to cry the happy tears for two hours and leave these kids wondering "Who are these freaks?" But wow. It's all set to go. The appointment is set.
Oh....the kids live in Elgin which is about an hour and a half away....near Austin. It just so happens that my family is having a family reunion on Saturday in Taylor - near Elgin and Austin. We had told CPS we would gladly cancel the family reunion for this. Turns out, the kids caseworker set our play-date for the McDonalds in Taylor, right next door to our family reunion! That's a coincidence that I will never be able to explain. Even Preston was a little awed by that little touch of God. Lori and I kind of look for signs that this is what we're supposed to be doing at this time and place. We've gotten them in big ways for the last eight months. This is just one more.
Of course after the phone call we went to eat and went to the dollar store and did some toy shopping. Coloring books, action figure, Matchbox car, little toy pony. I already know a little what they like and think they'll be more than happy. We've been able to peek behind the curtain and see some specific things they like (Star Wars and ponies).
I'm proud of us for making it here. I'm proud of our case-worker, Carey, for leading us to this point. I'm encouraged by the kids case-worker, Preston, for looking out for their best interest for so long. It sounds like a lesser worker might have lost these kids in the system once or twice. And, I'm proud of Bailey and Dalton. They've had to see and do and experience some things no kids should have to. They've had a really raw deal their whole lives. I hope and pray that we are the happy ending to that part of their lives and that they can start a whole new book with us. I'm confident that we'll all be successful at that.
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