We are now officially, by all definitions - parents. We've had the kids since Saturday, and each night I tell myself that I'm going to come here and write down my feelings of the day, and each night I fall asleep before I ever get to the screen. I haven't watched a second of television since Saturday that hasn't been programmed for someone over the age of 8.
Saturday was an incredible experience. We started out early, at lunch at our favorite mexican food restaurant along the way, and got to the foster mom's house right at 2 pm. The kids had thrown a "going away party" for Dalton and Bailey. I had made cookies for all the kids. I didn't want to show up empty handed. Lori sat and asked the foster mom as many questions as we could sqeeze in and I played with the kids. I had written on our photo album that I liked to do magic tricks. The kids JUMPED on that! Luckily, I was able to do a couple things with a quarter. They caught me off guard though - I'm going to have to pull out all the stops when we go back to visit.
Leaving there was sad for me. We were happy - but it was a sad moment. There were a couple of older girls that kind of "looked after" Bailey that were the sweetest girls around. I only met them a couple of times for a total of 15 minutes, but I miss them. I was super-impressed by one of the girls who was very sad that Bailey was leaving - but she wouldn't let Bailey see her cry. I did though. Broke my heart in a million pieces.
We were prepared on the car ride back. We had a Finding Nemo DVD ready to go and it worked wonderfully with the long car ride back. Getting to the house was very exciting. The kids LOVED their rooms. Dalton freaked (in a good way) over his Hot Wheels track. Honestly, Bailey enjoyed playing with Dalton's stuff more than playing with her own. She likes it fine - but Dalton was SO excited, you couldn't help but want to help him play. Saturday, everything was fine and we settled in pretty well.......until bedtime. Bailey was very sad. We had to call the foster mom to say goodnight. Then, she decided she wanted to go back and we had a real hard time getting her to go to sleep. We succeeded though. Like I said - Amazing, life changing day.
Day two was Sunday and we started trying to get into a routine. Did a pretty good job of it. We discovered quickly that our "outside toys" really stunk. So, armed with a gift card from my office, we set out to supply the kids with more entertainment. We got Dalton a better/bigger track for his Hot Wheels cars. We got Bailey a cheap Cinderella computer. And - we got a soccer ball and goal and a ring toss game for outside. The kids LOVED the soccer ball. Ring toss, too, but the soccer ball is where it was at! We were doing fine until Bailey decided she wasn't going to pick up her shoes and she decided to tell me so in a disrespectful way. Time-out time. She did NOT want to go. 20 minutes of a screaming, fighting FIT. Finally, Lori hit on the magic question - "Are you ready for me to start the clock?" Somehow, a switch went off and she became a different child in 2 seconds. She was sweet the rest of the day, including bedtime.
Today was a LOT better day all around. the kids understood our schedule and helped out a bunch. We went after lunch to the park and fed the ducks, played at the playground, and got a sno-cone. We even took the dog......
Oh. The dog. That's been a bit of an issue. The dog LOVES the kids. Constant attention. But, she doesn't know the difference between a stuffed animal and a dog toy. She's been taking stuffed animals. Dalton didn't like it, tried to retrieve an animal and got a little bit in the process. Should have learned, right? Wrong. Tried to hug the dog by picking her up by the neck. Bit again. Well....nipped. But it scared him. Terrified us. He was fine in seconds. The dog was out from under the bed in minutes. We on the other hand were wrecks about it for a couple of hours. I don't think the kids have learned yet and I fully expect it to happen again once or twice this week. The dog actually goes in and sleeps with Dalton for half of the night. The kids just don't know how to handle a dog yet.
We had another meltdown with Bailey today after the ducks. She was tired, but the same type of meltdown over nothing. We were patient and persistent though and when Lori asked the magic question, she was fine. Then again, tonight, she did it again. Screaming at the top of her lungs for 15 minutes about a problem that is unsolvable. For the third time, she turned it off like a switch, sat in time out for 4 minutes, and pretended like she has always been the sweetest girl inTexas.
Tonight has been a mountain of paperwork for school tomorrow. We aren't even sure we have all of it from the case worker and / or the foster family. But, we're going up there to deal with what we have to deal with.
So - now that I'm falling asleep, have sore knees, and smell like Hot Wheels and Barbie dolls, how do I feel about things? First - my wife has been AWESOME at this. I really have been proud of her reaction to the day and the positive attitude towards the day to come. More than I ever expected. I am SO SO proud of my little man, Dalton. He wants to please us SO bad. Some of his tactics are transparent, but SO heartbreakingly cute. He wants to keep his little sister out of trouble and will do anything he can to fix her problems. He's been no trouble at all at bathtime, bedtime, etc. They're both BIG eaters and aren't picky at all. We are so lucky in that department.
But.....more later. Daddy has to go to bed.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Eve of Everything
Here we are.
A wave of emotions has caught up with Lori and I over the last few days. We're finally at the door that we've been trying to knock on for a long while now. Tomorrow, they'll answer the door, put two perfect children in our car and give them to us. And that'll be it. Parents. It's an awesome thing to type, much less live through. Tomorrow our lives will change in amazing and wonderful ways. We've done everything we can do to think we are prepared. We know we aren't remotely prepared, but we've done what we can do. We've asked all the questions we know to ask. We know that there are a zillion that we don't know to as, but we've done what we can do. It's not nervousness - it's not fear - it's not all excitement. I think it's a mish-mash of a thousand emotions.
Fear - Are we REALLY ready for this? I think we are. But are we REALLY? I don't know. Is any parent?
Worry - What if the kids don't like it here? What if something happens to them at school or here? Will are dog accept them? Will we be able to handle them if they have a meltdown? Will I be able to if Lori has a meltdown? (LOL)
Sadness - I'm sad that the kids have to do this again. This isn't their first rodeo. It's going to be the biggest day in our lives...but probably not the kids. It's a shame. There are some rotten adults in this world. These kids deserve everything we can give them and more.
Happiness - Of course I'm over-the-moon with happiness. For the last 20 years, I've heard the same thing - "You're going to make a great father." For awhile, I didn't take it as a compliment. I have had a yearning to be a father my whole life. To make it this far without kids has been difficult. To hear others say that gets old. So, yeah. It's a big deal for me personally. It's big for Lori, too. But, this is a day she wants for me, too. She understands. My parents and her parents understand.
Hope - I hope these kids succeed. I hope they're happy here.....as happy as they can possibly be. I hope Dalton accepts all of us and accepts us as his forever parents. I hope my nephew TJ becomes the influence I think he can become for Dalton. I hope Bailey does the same. I hope she learns and grows and flourishes here. I hope she and Mackenzie get along. And I hope my niece Alysia becomes the role model I think she is. I hope these kids know that we think they're lucky to have this many people around them that love them and can't wait to meet them. It's a big world and I hope we all face it together with grace.
but most of all.....
Pride. I'm SO proud to be here tonight. I hope that feeling never leaves. I'm proud of Lori and I for doing this. We could have gone a different direction. We could have turned down two kids because of our own selfish reasons. I'm proud of how Lori has handled everything and how excited she is. It touches my heart more than she knows. When we started this, I asked her the tough questions as to why. The most important one being - Is she doing it for me or us? She's assured me it's for us and she's ready. And honestly, it took me some time to be convinced. But I am. I'm so proud. I'm proud of my in-laws. They have a tendency to look at the work things like this take to get accomplished. But, to their credit, they have been nothing but sweet, helpful, and supportive. I don't know if we'd be here without them. I am proud of my extended family. Especially my father. He's asked all the right questions and never pushed me for an answer. He's always been known as the "stoic" one of the family. But, I've seen his emotions when he found out about the kids. It's been a wonderful gift for me to watch. My mother has been great too, and I've asked a lot of her the last few weeks. My brother and sister-in-law seem to be very excited. I hope this helps us bond more. Another great moment was when my nephew TJ found out the kids were coming this weekend. He gave me a look I'd never seen. Again - it touched my heart. I'm proud of the kid's caseworkers for getting them through this rough time. They have sacrificed so much for them to come to us. It hasn't all been positive for them, but I'm proud that we're the end result for their efforts. They've all said they would adopt them if they could. And WE get to. And I'm proud of Dalton and Bailey. Nobody deserves to start their childhood the way they have. To go through it and be as smart and well-adjusted as they are....I'm SO proud. I'm proud of everybody for not failing these kids.
I am sure I'm feeling what expectant fathers feel the night before their son or daughter is born. But, they are full of wonder. What will the kids grow up to be.....I've already gotten a head start. I've been able to meet my kids. They already have opinions, quirks, habits, likes and dislikes. It's very emotional.
We're ready. Time for the world to start.
A wave of emotions has caught up with Lori and I over the last few days. We're finally at the door that we've been trying to knock on for a long while now. Tomorrow, they'll answer the door, put two perfect children in our car and give them to us. And that'll be it. Parents. It's an awesome thing to type, much less live through. Tomorrow our lives will change in amazing and wonderful ways. We've done everything we can do to think we are prepared. We know we aren't remotely prepared, but we've done what we can do. We've asked all the questions we know to ask. We know that there are a zillion that we don't know to as, but we've done what we can do. It's not nervousness - it's not fear - it's not all excitement. I think it's a mish-mash of a thousand emotions.
Fear - Are we REALLY ready for this? I think we are. But are we REALLY? I don't know. Is any parent?
Worry - What if the kids don't like it here? What if something happens to them at school or here? Will are dog accept them? Will we be able to handle them if they have a meltdown? Will I be able to if Lori has a meltdown? (LOL)
Sadness - I'm sad that the kids have to do this again. This isn't their first rodeo. It's going to be the biggest day in our lives...but probably not the kids. It's a shame. There are some rotten adults in this world. These kids deserve everything we can give them and more.
Happiness - Of course I'm over-the-moon with happiness. For the last 20 years, I've heard the same thing - "You're going to make a great father." For awhile, I didn't take it as a compliment. I have had a yearning to be a father my whole life. To make it this far without kids has been difficult. To hear others say that gets old. So, yeah. It's a big deal for me personally. It's big for Lori, too. But, this is a day she wants for me, too. She understands. My parents and her parents understand.
Hope - I hope these kids succeed. I hope they're happy here.....as happy as they can possibly be. I hope Dalton accepts all of us and accepts us as his forever parents. I hope my nephew TJ becomes the influence I think he can become for Dalton. I hope Bailey does the same. I hope she learns and grows and flourishes here. I hope she and Mackenzie get along. And I hope my niece Alysia becomes the role model I think she is. I hope these kids know that we think they're lucky to have this many people around them that love them and can't wait to meet them. It's a big world and I hope we all face it together with grace.
but most of all.....
Pride. I'm SO proud to be here tonight. I hope that feeling never leaves. I'm proud of Lori and I for doing this. We could have gone a different direction. We could have turned down two kids because of our own selfish reasons. I'm proud of how Lori has handled everything and how excited she is. It touches my heart more than she knows. When we started this, I asked her the tough questions as to why. The most important one being - Is she doing it for me or us? She's assured me it's for us and she's ready. And honestly, it took me some time to be convinced. But I am. I'm so proud. I'm proud of my in-laws. They have a tendency to look at the work things like this take to get accomplished. But, to their credit, they have been nothing but sweet, helpful, and supportive. I don't know if we'd be here without them. I am proud of my extended family. Especially my father. He's asked all the right questions and never pushed me for an answer. He's always been known as the "stoic" one of the family. But, I've seen his emotions when he found out about the kids. It's been a wonderful gift for me to watch. My mother has been great too, and I've asked a lot of her the last few weeks. My brother and sister-in-law seem to be very excited. I hope this helps us bond more. Another great moment was when my nephew TJ found out the kids were coming this weekend. He gave me a look I'd never seen. Again - it touched my heart. I'm proud of the kid's caseworkers for getting them through this rough time. They have sacrificed so much for them to come to us. It hasn't all been positive for them, but I'm proud that we're the end result for their efforts. They've all said they would adopt them if they could. And WE get to. And I'm proud of Dalton and Bailey. Nobody deserves to start their childhood the way they have. To go through it and be as smart and well-adjusted as they are....I'm SO proud. I'm proud of everybody for not failing these kids.
I am sure I'm feeling what expectant fathers feel the night before their son or daughter is born. But, they are full of wonder. What will the kids grow up to be.....I've already gotten a head start. I've been able to meet my kids. They already have opinions, quirks, habits, likes and dislikes. It's very emotional.
We're ready. Time for the world to start.
Monday, August 31, 2009
A Week Away
It's getting real.
We went Saturday and picked up the kids. Third visit. Was very excited that they were excited to see us. Big hugs and kisses. We got there at the same time as last week. This week, we decided to hit a mall. There was a Build-a-Bear and an Inflatable Wonderland. The foster mom needed us to buy a couple of shirts for Dalton. The mall was perfect.
We had a real good drive over. Turned on the kid's music station and had fun singing along to the Spiderman song, the transformers song, and Yellow Submarine. We got to the mall and the kids saw something I don't think they had ever seen before - an escalator. Watching them figure it out was fun. They had so much fun, they didn't even realize that the Inflatable Wonderland was at the bottom.
When they saw it, they FREAKED. They went hog-wild. It was pretty great for Lori and I because we could send them in to one of the inflatables and let them go for awhile. There was only one way out and in, so we knew where they were. We monitored to make sure there were no tears, blood, or fights. We saw Dalton reach a level of happy we'd never seen before. He did bellyflops, flips, slides - just had a blast. Bailey had fun, too, but she's usually happy. We expected to spend an hour or two wearing them out - turned out to only take about 40 minutes. They wanted to play on the escalators some more.
We walked through the mall and stopped at a few stores. Dalton is the fashion expert of the family. He has a good grasp on what he thinks is "cool" and "not cool." He has an eye for hats. Bailey, of course, can find the shoes in 1.2 seconds of entering a store. We made it to the food court and the worn out kids got some Chick-Fil-A nuggets down. We made our way to Sears and bought some clothes.
Lori and I have no clue about children's clothing sizes. Is a size 7 a child's small, medium, or large. What is a 5T? Toddler? Tall? So - we had to actually LOOK at the clothes to see what fit. I would hold the shirt up to Dalton's back to see if they were too long. Bailey quickly picked up on it and became the fashion coordinator. It was pretty cute and she actually helped pick out a shirt.
We could tell Bailey wasn't feeling in top shape and Dalton was pretty tired too, so we cut the trip short (no Build-a-Bear this time). A good trip back home and we were back by 1 pm. Several of the kids came out to the back porch where we were talking and we got to watch them interact with each other. It really is amazing how that family works together to get things done. I got to meet most of the girls. One of them crawled in Lori's lap and made her rock. I snapped some photos and chatted with some of the older girls about school. We stayed for about 45 mintues and figured it was time to get.
Lori and I did some shopping to complete the kids' rooms. We had a nice dinner, seeing that it was our last Saturday night as a childless couple. Spent the rest of the weekend preparing.
So.....we're down to the home stretch. All the close parties have been notified. We're thrilled that we've connected with the kids the way we have. We started working on discipline
We went Saturday and picked up the kids. Third visit. Was very excited that they were excited to see us. Big hugs and kisses. We got there at the same time as last week. This week, we decided to hit a mall. There was a Build-a-Bear and an Inflatable Wonderland. The foster mom needed us to buy a couple of shirts for Dalton. The mall was perfect.
We had a real good drive over. Turned on the kid's music station and had fun singing along to the Spiderman song, the transformers song, and Yellow Submarine. We got to the mall and the kids saw something I don't think they had ever seen before - an escalator. Watching them figure it out was fun. They had so much fun, they didn't even realize that the Inflatable Wonderland was at the bottom.
When they saw it, they FREAKED. They went hog-wild. It was pretty great for Lori and I because we could send them in to one of the inflatables and let them go for awhile. There was only one way out and in, so we knew where they were. We monitored to make sure there were no tears, blood, or fights. We saw Dalton reach a level of happy we'd never seen before. He did bellyflops, flips, slides - just had a blast. Bailey had fun, too, but she's usually happy. We expected to spend an hour or two wearing them out - turned out to only take about 40 minutes. They wanted to play on the escalators some more.
We walked through the mall and stopped at a few stores. Dalton is the fashion expert of the family. He has a good grasp on what he thinks is "cool" and "not cool." He has an eye for hats. Bailey, of course, can find the shoes in 1.2 seconds of entering a store. We made it to the food court and the worn out kids got some Chick-Fil-A nuggets down. We made our way to Sears and bought some clothes.
Lori and I have no clue about children's clothing sizes. Is a size 7 a child's small, medium, or large. What is a 5T? Toddler? Tall? So - we had to actually LOOK at the clothes to see what fit. I would hold the shirt up to Dalton's back to see if they were too long. Bailey quickly picked up on it and became the fashion coordinator. It was pretty cute and she actually helped pick out a shirt.
We could tell Bailey wasn't feeling in top shape and Dalton was pretty tired too, so we cut the trip short (no Build-a-Bear this time). A good trip back home and we were back by 1 pm. Several of the kids came out to the back porch where we were talking and we got to watch them interact with each other. It really is amazing how that family works together to get things done. I got to meet most of the girls. One of them crawled in Lori's lap and made her rock. I snapped some photos and chatted with some of the older girls about school. We stayed for about 45 mintues and figured it was time to get.
Lori and I did some shopping to complete the kids' rooms. We had a nice dinner, seeing that it was our last Saturday night as a childless couple. Spent the rest of the weekend preparing.
So.....we're down to the home stretch. All the close parties have been notified. We're thrilled that we've connected with the kids the way we have. We started working on discipline
Monday, August 24, 2009
Another big day
I sent Preston an e-mail last night about our weekend. I also requested an update on the status of them staying permanently.
I got my answer.
If we choose, when the kids come for an overnight over the labor day weekend, they can just stay. Wow. In less than two weeks, our long journey to be parents will begin (like it hasn't already). It's a little overwhelming. So much to do - so little time.
Lori and I talked about it tonight in our nightly walk and the talk took some turns that I still don't like. We're having trouble on what's best for the kids. Lori thinks I want to parade them around as little trophies in front of every living soul. I think she wants to lock them in their rooms and keep them a secret from the world. Both are exaggerations, but that's the basics. Both of us think the other's idea is super tramatic for the kids. I just want them to be normal kids. When we walk down the street, I want the "Who do you have there with you?" questions to be over as soon as possible. I just want to be identified as a family. Lori doesn't want anybody in our business. It's nobody's business who the kids are or how we got them.
I don't know. I know the kids will answer these questions for us when they get here. Most of our worry will disappear once they are here. We both agree that we just want these kids to be as happy as possible and we don't want to fail them. Who knew that when we started this, breaking the news to our families would be the most difficult part? It really has been. My parents and her parents are upset that they can't talk about things. They want to brag on their grandchildren like they were just born. I know we're protecting the kids. I know we're protecting us. But we're also protecting them. I don't want them to say something that would hurt the kids. I don't want them to be hurt if something happens and we don't get them.
But....to say we aren't over-the-moon excited about the news we got tonight would be silly. Of course we are. It means the kids can be enrolled in school the Tuesday after Labor Day. Lori is home so she'll have time to set things up. I'll take a day or two off to help I'm sure. But wow. It's really here. This is really going to happen. There's always a chance the court could swoop in and change things, but right now, even the pessimist in me doesn't see that happening. We read the case.
So much to do. So little time.
I got my answer.
If we choose, when the kids come for an overnight over the labor day weekend, they can just stay. Wow. In less than two weeks, our long journey to be parents will begin (like it hasn't already). It's a little overwhelming. So much to do - so little time.
Lori and I talked about it tonight in our nightly walk and the talk took some turns that I still don't like. We're having trouble on what's best for the kids. Lori thinks I want to parade them around as little trophies in front of every living soul. I think she wants to lock them in their rooms and keep them a secret from the world. Both are exaggerations, but that's the basics. Both of us think the other's idea is super tramatic for the kids. I just want them to be normal kids. When we walk down the street, I want the "Who do you have there with you?" questions to be over as soon as possible. I just want to be identified as a family. Lori doesn't want anybody in our business. It's nobody's business who the kids are or how we got them.
I don't know. I know the kids will answer these questions for us when they get here. Most of our worry will disappear once they are here. We both agree that we just want these kids to be as happy as possible and we don't want to fail them. Who knew that when we started this, breaking the news to our families would be the most difficult part? It really has been. My parents and her parents are upset that they can't talk about things. They want to brag on their grandchildren like they were just born. I know we're protecting the kids. I know we're protecting us. But we're also protecting them. I don't want them to say something that would hurt the kids. I don't want them to be hurt if something happens and we don't get them.
But....to say we aren't over-the-moon excited about the news we got tonight would be silly. Of course we are. It means the kids can be enrolled in school the Tuesday after Labor Day. Lori is home so she'll have time to set things up. I'll take a day or two off to help I'm sure. But wow. It's really here. This is really going to happen. There's always a chance the court could swoop in and change things, but right now, even the pessimist in me doesn't see that happening. We read the case.
So much to do. So little time.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Dalton and Bailey - Day 2
We drove out to Elgin and picked up Dalton and Bailey yesterday. We weren't nervous like the last time. The closer we got, the more excited we got. We had big plans in our head and hoped that everything went well. We had chatted with the foster mom the night before and she gave me ten years of information in thirty minutes. We called Nicole and she offered to meet us in Austin.
One thing about Dalton - he's obsessed. When he found out we were coming on Saturday, he was dressed and ready to go by 7:00 am (we got there at 9:00). He asked his foster mom a hundred times if we were coming. When we pulled up into the driveway, he ran to the back porch, waved quickly and then ran back inside to get his sister. She wasn't quite ready, so he asked me a hundred times if he could go get in the car. He's worried about whatever the "next big thing" is. Once we were in the car, he wanted to know where we were going. Once he knew that, he worried aobut when we would get there. It was very manageable. It's just who he is today.
Bailey: She wasn't quite ready when we got there. The most impressive thing I saw all day was how this foster family worked together to get things done. Two brothers helped get her things together. One sister started combing her hair while the other looked for barets. Bailey stood still the whole time and let them dote on her. One of the sisters was about 10 and if I could have taken her right then and there, I would have. All of them actually.
This foster-home was amazing. The foster dad was pretty laid back and proud of his spread out there. Five acres with a pool and tons of play equipment. I huge six bedroom house with two gigantic living areas, enough books in the bookcase to be considered a library, one of those kitchen tables that seats 20. The foster mom is the epi-center. She is a ball of energy and her brain goes ten different ways the entire time she is talking. She's fostered over 200 kinds, adopted 15, and I think she has 3 of her own. Forget war heroes - give this lady (and man) a medal!
We picked up Dalton and Bailey and headed about 20 miles in to Austin to the Austin Children's Museum. They had just been to the circus the day before and we didn't want to "compete" with that. We just wanted to take them to a place that was safe for both them and us. If they broke something there, I'm sure the people at the museum wouldn't freak out. We knew we could handle it. We just wanted to make it as easy on us as we could. Nicole, their CASA worker, drove up from Ft. Hood and met us there. I was pretty happy about that. It did change the "tone" of the day. Instead of a intense day of on-the-job-parenting, it became another "job-interview" type thing, knowing that she was watching and documenting. But, in reality, it didn't really turn out like that at all. Nicole trust us already I think. I really think she wanted to make sure we knew what we're getting into and help give us some pointers on how to control the kids.
When we first got to the museum, the kids went nuts. No problem - there weren't many people there and it was fine. I wanted to corral Bailey and have Lori spend some time with Dalton, but the truth is, Dalton is fast and all boy. He was climbing stairs and it was just easier for me to keep up with him. Bailey spent a long time at the "store" serving food and taking orders. Dalton didn't stay on anything more than a few minutes before he was off to the next big thing.
It was an hour or so before Nicole got there. I hadn't told the kids, so I told Dalton that we needed to go to the front to meet a guest that was coming to see us. Of course, he obsessed on who it could be. I wasn't thinking and asked "Who do you want it to be?" Dalton responded, "My birth-mom." It was touching, it was sweet, but mostly it made me sad that I walked in to that moment. I quickly said "Who ELSE could it be?" I answered the question for him before he had a chance to answer something else I wasn't prepared for. He and Bailey were VERY excited to see Nicole. She's as close of a thing to a consistent positive female role model that they've ever had. They've had lots of positive male and females come in and out of their lives, but never for very long. Nicole has helped since day one. We were appreciatve she was there for that fact alone.
We went upstairs to a place called "Tinkers Workshop". It was a little disappointing because there were tons of peieces that were missing and broken. We had looked when we first got there, but quickly went on to bigger and better things. This time though, we made it work.
There was a table with a bunch of art supplies - egg cartons, construction paper, pipe cleaners, yogurt containers, stickers - an child artist dream. We got the kids to sit down and had, what for me was the best hour as a parent I've had to this point (granted - that's just a total of about 6 hours now). Bailey drew a picture of Lori and Nicole and made a stick figure of herself out of a popcycle stick. Dalton and I made an alien out of a toilet paper roll, pipe cleaners and whatever else we could get our hands on. I actually "helped" and made suggestions. I saw how he could focus and keep his attention on a project. We became the "Scotch Tape Kings" and made the best looking pipe cleaner alien the world has ever seen. Before he could run off, I suggested we try something else. He saw another project hanging from the ceiling and wanted to make an airplane. We snapped into action looking for supplies. We made it out of a water bottle, egg carton, pipe cleaners, and Dalton searched and searched and found a cardboard box to cut wings out. It wasn't the most aerodynamic of airplanes, but in making that airplane, we all saw the potential we had as a family. Especially Nicole I think. I think she saw the kids be happy kids and that's probably been a rare thing. There was no worry on the face of Dalton for the hour or so we did that. Bailey had two women there cheering on her every move and she ate it up like a ballerina trying to get applause. It was amazing.
We left the museum after a few hours and decided to take Nicole and the kids to eat. We didn't want to seem like lost puppies, so I drove to an area of town I was familiar with. We settled on Canolli Joes - an itialian buffet place. It was a little expensive, but totally worth it. The kids were a little over-stimulated, so we needed some space to spread out. I was proud of the kids. We are going to have our hands full with Bailey and her "inside voice". Dalton finished his meal in seconds and obsessed over dessert. We already have a well established rule after two meals now that nobody gets up until everyone is through with their meal. Once he has a rule, I think he's fine. He just needs to know what the rules are.
I'm still in shock and awe in amazement at how smart these kids are. Part of it is me being a proud parent - sure. But, Bailey is five and can spell. She was doing "Word Finds" in the car (where you circle the letters of words hidden in the puzzle). When I was five, I wouldn't have had a CLUE what that was. We played "what starts with the letter....." game most of the day. Dalton is bored stiff with that game. Dalton, I think, could play that game on a college level. "What does psychology start with? What does xylophone start with?" I'm almost certain he'd know. I watched him read AND COMPREHEND things that he was reading all day long. I watched him get to a word he didn't know and work it out until he figured out what it could have been in the context of the sentence. Not once, not twice - all day long. I helped him a couple of times. He wanted to know what we needed to "Call the Manager for Details" was about? What details? Who has parties and has to call a manager?
We took Nicole back to her car and then drove the kids home. That was the most difficult part. We happened to be in Austin on the weekend before college classes start and we got stuck in a traffic jam to end all traffic jams. We passed by the Texas Museum and there is a giant metal star out front. Bailey didn't get to see it and had a melt-down and wanted us to turn around. We got our first taste of how long she can drag out a whiney meltdown. Lori had her first "mommy-moment" where she started to loose patience and since we were stuck in the car, we weren't sure how to handle it (no time-out?). We dealt with it though. One thing we learned quickly - we can never promise something and think they'll forget about it. They have memories like steel traps. "You said we could get a toy at the end! You said we could go back and slide down the slide before we left!" "You said we could see the big star!" I'm going to shut my mouth more often I think.
Overall - it was a huge success. We tackled the Children's Museum with two rambunctious kids and came out without any injuries. I have to say - last week, Bailey was a little angel, sitting and coloring and not a handful at all. Last week, Dalton ran us around and was a potential handful to keep calm. This week? It was a complete 180. Dalton was nothing but an angel all day. Lori and I have had "expectations" that everybody has helped set up. He has a hard time listening I think, but given the attention, he is quite helpful. It's just going to take constant attention for awhile before he can do it on his own. He helped us with Bailey, shared his pencils when she dropped hers in the car, pointed things out to her, tried to help us when she had her meltdown (and was much more patient that a six year old older brother has a right to be). He was a joy. Bailey? She's going to test our limits as much as she can. She does something wrong and when we scold her, she does it one more time to see what we'll do. We noticed it right away. Lori asked for assistance from Nicole once in the Museum to see how Nicole handled it. I think that helped. Lori got a little emotional in the car once we left....but quickly got over it and we were able to talk about the details of the day.
Things like Bailey asking "Why did Jesus make scorpions? They sting." Dalton staring out the window of the car, trying to find the Super-Drum and finding it every time - a sense of direction I don't have. We think we'll get to see the kids next weekend. We're not sure where we will take them. They both start school on Monday so we hope we have some things to talk about. I can't wait.
One last thing - after we were finished, we decided to stop by Ikea and buy Dalton his bed to start setting up his room. We debated about it quite some time - it was tax-free weekend on the weekend before school starting after all. But, since we were there, we decided to brave it. Found a really neat bed and it was pretty cheap, too. We were walking out and the coincidence of all coincidences happened - something that freaked Lori and I out more than a little bit. We ran into Preston, the kids case worker. Two minutes earlier or later and we would have missed him. He lives 50 miles from Ikea and we live 50 miles away in a different direction. What are the odds of that? How does that happen? He said he had already gotten a text message from Nicole about how great the day went and we sat and chatted for awhile in the 100 degree heat. I think we were all a little amazed at the small world. We needed to talk to him about it. Simply amazing. Another sign from somewhere (God, karma, whatever) that this is what should be happening right now at this moment with these kids, these case workers, and us.
One thing about Dalton - he's obsessed. When he found out we were coming on Saturday, he was dressed and ready to go by 7:00 am (we got there at 9:00). He asked his foster mom a hundred times if we were coming. When we pulled up into the driveway, he ran to the back porch, waved quickly and then ran back inside to get his sister. She wasn't quite ready, so he asked me a hundred times if he could go get in the car. He's worried about whatever the "next big thing" is. Once we were in the car, he wanted to know where we were going. Once he knew that, he worried aobut when we would get there. It was very manageable. It's just who he is today.
Bailey: She wasn't quite ready when we got there. The most impressive thing I saw all day was how this foster family worked together to get things done. Two brothers helped get her things together. One sister started combing her hair while the other looked for barets. Bailey stood still the whole time and let them dote on her. One of the sisters was about 10 and if I could have taken her right then and there, I would have. All of them actually.
This foster-home was amazing. The foster dad was pretty laid back and proud of his spread out there. Five acres with a pool and tons of play equipment. I huge six bedroom house with two gigantic living areas, enough books in the bookcase to be considered a library, one of those kitchen tables that seats 20. The foster mom is the epi-center. She is a ball of energy and her brain goes ten different ways the entire time she is talking. She's fostered over 200 kinds, adopted 15, and I think she has 3 of her own. Forget war heroes - give this lady (and man) a medal!
We picked up Dalton and Bailey and headed about 20 miles in to Austin to the Austin Children's Museum. They had just been to the circus the day before and we didn't want to "compete" with that. We just wanted to take them to a place that was safe for both them and us. If they broke something there, I'm sure the people at the museum wouldn't freak out. We knew we could handle it. We just wanted to make it as easy on us as we could. Nicole, their CASA worker, drove up from Ft. Hood and met us there. I was pretty happy about that. It did change the "tone" of the day. Instead of a intense day of on-the-job-parenting, it became another "job-interview" type thing, knowing that she was watching and documenting. But, in reality, it didn't really turn out like that at all. Nicole trust us already I think. I really think she wanted to make sure we knew what we're getting into and help give us some pointers on how to control the kids.
When we first got to the museum, the kids went nuts. No problem - there weren't many people there and it was fine. I wanted to corral Bailey and have Lori spend some time with Dalton, but the truth is, Dalton is fast and all boy. He was climbing stairs and it was just easier for me to keep up with him. Bailey spent a long time at the "store" serving food and taking orders. Dalton didn't stay on anything more than a few minutes before he was off to the next big thing.
It was an hour or so before Nicole got there. I hadn't told the kids, so I told Dalton that we needed to go to the front to meet a guest that was coming to see us. Of course, he obsessed on who it could be. I wasn't thinking and asked "Who do you want it to be?" Dalton responded, "My birth-mom." It was touching, it was sweet, but mostly it made me sad that I walked in to that moment. I quickly said "Who ELSE could it be?" I answered the question for him before he had a chance to answer something else I wasn't prepared for. He and Bailey were VERY excited to see Nicole. She's as close of a thing to a consistent positive female role model that they've ever had. They've had lots of positive male and females come in and out of their lives, but never for very long. Nicole has helped since day one. We were appreciatve she was there for that fact alone.
We went upstairs to a place called "Tinkers Workshop". It was a little disappointing because there were tons of peieces that were missing and broken. We had looked when we first got there, but quickly went on to bigger and better things. This time though, we made it work.
There was a table with a bunch of art supplies - egg cartons, construction paper, pipe cleaners, yogurt containers, stickers - an child artist dream. We got the kids to sit down and had, what for me was the best hour as a parent I've had to this point (granted - that's just a total of about 6 hours now). Bailey drew a picture of Lori and Nicole and made a stick figure of herself out of a popcycle stick. Dalton and I made an alien out of a toilet paper roll, pipe cleaners and whatever else we could get our hands on. I actually "helped" and made suggestions. I saw how he could focus and keep his attention on a project. We became the "Scotch Tape Kings" and made the best looking pipe cleaner alien the world has ever seen. Before he could run off, I suggested we try something else. He saw another project hanging from the ceiling and wanted to make an airplane. We snapped into action looking for supplies. We made it out of a water bottle, egg carton, pipe cleaners, and Dalton searched and searched and found a cardboard box to cut wings out. It wasn't the most aerodynamic of airplanes, but in making that airplane, we all saw the potential we had as a family. Especially Nicole I think. I think she saw the kids be happy kids and that's probably been a rare thing. There was no worry on the face of Dalton for the hour or so we did that. Bailey had two women there cheering on her every move and she ate it up like a ballerina trying to get applause. It was amazing.
We left the museum after a few hours and decided to take Nicole and the kids to eat. We didn't want to seem like lost puppies, so I drove to an area of town I was familiar with. We settled on Canolli Joes - an itialian buffet place. It was a little expensive, but totally worth it. The kids were a little over-stimulated, so we needed some space to spread out. I was proud of the kids. We are going to have our hands full with Bailey and her "inside voice". Dalton finished his meal in seconds and obsessed over dessert. We already have a well established rule after two meals now that nobody gets up until everyone is through with their meal. Once he has a rule, I think he's fine. He just needs to know what the rules are.
I'm still in shock and awe in amazement at how smart these kids are. Part of it is me being a proud parent - sure. But, Bailey is five and can spell. She was doing "Word Finds" in the car (where you circle the letters of words hidden in the puzzle). When I was five, I wouldn't have had a CLUE what that was. We played "what starts with the letter....." game most of the day. Dalton is bored stiff with that game. Dalton, I think, could play that game on a college level. "What does psychology start with? What does xylophone start with?" I'm almost certain he'd know. I watched him read AND COMPREHEND things that he was reading all day long. I watched him get to a word he didn't know and work it out until he figured out what it could have been in the context of the sentence. Not once, not twice - all day long. I helped him a couple of times. He wanted to know what we needed to "Call the Manager for Details" was about? What details? Who has parties and has to call a manager?
We took Nicole back to her car and then drove the kids home. That was the most difficult part. We happened to be in Austin on the weekend before college classes start and we got stuck in a traffic jam to end all traffic jams. We passed by the Texas Museum and there is a giant metal star out front. Bailey didn't get to see it and had a melt-down and wanted us to turn around. We got our first taste of how long she can drag out a whiney meltdown. Lori had her first "mommy-moment" where she started to loose patience and since we were stuck in the car, we weren't sure how to handle it (no time-out?). We dealt with it though. One thing we learned quickly - we can never promise something and think they'll forget about it. They have memories like steel traps. "You said we could get a toy at the end! You said we could go back and slide down the slide before we left!" "You said we could see the big star!" I'm going to shut my mouth more often I think.
Overall - it was a huge success. We tackled the Children's Museum with two rambunctious kids and came out without any injuries. I have to say - last week, Bailey was a little angel, sitting and coloring and not a handful at all. Last week, Dalton ran us around and was a potential handful to keep calm. This week? It was a complete 180. Dalton was nothing but an angel all day. Lori and I have had "expectations" that everybody has helped set up. He has a hard time listening I think, but given the attention, he is quite helpful. It's just going to take constant attention for awhile before he can do it on his own. He helped us with Bailey, shared his pencils when she dropped hers in the car, pointed things out to her, tried to help us when she had her meltdown (and was much more patient that a six year old older brother has a right to be). He was a joy. Bailey? She's going to test our limits as much as she can. She does something wrong and when we scold her, she does it one more time to see what we'll do. We noticed it right away. Lori asked for assistance from Nicole once in the Museum to see how Nicole handled it. I think that helped. Lori got a little emotional in the car once we left....but quickly got over it and we were able to talk about the details of the day.
Things like Bailey asking "Why did Jesus make scorpions? They sting." Dalton staring out the window of the car, trying to find the Super-Drum and finding it every time - a sense of direction I don't have. We think we'll get to see the kids next weekend. We're not sure where we will take them. They both start school on Monday so we hope we have some things to talk about. I can't wait.
One last thing - after we were finished, we decided to stop by Ikea and buy Dalton his bed to start setting up his room. We debated about it quite some time - it was tax-free weekend on the weekend before school starting after all. But, since we were there, we decided to brave it. Found a really neat bed and it was pretty cheap, too. We were walking out and the coincidence of all coincidences happened - something that freaked Lori and I out more than a little bit. We ran into Preston, the kids case worker. Two minutes earlier or later and we would have missed him. He lives 50 miles from Ikea and we live 50 miles away in a different direction. What are the odds of that? How does that happen? He said he had already gotten a text message from Nicole about how great the day went and we sat and chatted for awhile in the 100 degree heat. I think we were all a little amazed at the small world. We needed to talk to him about it. Simply amazing. Another sign from somewhere (God, karma, whatever) that this is what should be happening right now at this moment with these kids, these case workers, and us.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Waiting to see our kids again
It's a quiet Thursday night and there isn't much going on.
Still basking in the afterglow of meeting Dalton and Bailey. It's been an eventful week - both on the good side and the bad. It's hard keeping this news quiet. I'm a proud parent already, the damn has burst. It's like trying to hold back the flood waters. We told Lori's parents on Sunday and my parents on Monday. They both were extremely excited. However, I'm not sure they completely understand this. I agreed to tell my aunt in Rochester, New York, basically so my mother could have someone to talk to about it. She wants me to tell the pastor at church, who was one of our references. After I told my aunt, my wife gave me a stern talking to about reigning in information. They aren't our kids to talk about yet. Nobody needs to know some of the info. We have to protect the kids. I called my mom and told her to watch what she says....we're going to take things slow from here.
So....last night, while we had a CPS meeting with the CASA worker, my mother called my cellphone twice and the house once. When we got out of the meeting, they didn't answer. I assumed that something bad had happened. There was a message on one phone that they were at the church and "just wanted to say hello." So, we went to say hello...knowing it was something more. My mother was wanting us to announce to a roomful of people our news. We were both a little taken aback by it. I think my mom's feelings are hurt, but I have to look at the big picture. Everybody will know soon enough that we have kids. It really won't matter when everybody is told if this all works out. It is hard enough getting myself to limit my talk about them.
On Tuesday, we got a call from the kid's CASA worker, Nicole. Dalton and Bailey had spoken of her and it sounded like Nicole was someone they loved. Preston spoke good about her as well. It sounds like Nicole and Preston have been to hell and back over these kids, trying to keep the mom above water. She came across on the phone to Lori as "professional." We weren't too sure she was totally going to be on our side. She wanted to come out and see our house on Wednesday night. Something we very much wanted to happen.
Wednesday she showed up and we got a weird vibe from her at the beginning. I'm sure she has had to fight many battles at the door for these kids and many others. She took some photos of our house for Preston. Then she asked the question I'm sure had been weighing on her mind for some time - "Will I be able to continue to be in the children's lives if you adopt them?" OF COURSE! Dalton and Bailey love her. We want any positive influence on them to continue as long as possible. After that was cleared up, Lori and I got a totally different vibe. We sat and talked for about an hour about how great these two kids are. Preston and Nicole both said they would adopt these kids if they possibly could. She seemed to really like us and we really like her. I told her we feel like we are adopting her and we'd set up a bed for her whenever she wanted to come over. I think it was a roaring success for us and for Nicole. At least I hope so. I hope she will be a valuable source of information and support in the near and distant future. I think she will.
Now, we try to set up Saturday. It's been tough on me this week. I'm really missing my little boy and girl. Lori seems to be holding together well....but I'm sure she has her moments too. We are playing it loose this weekend, but if it works out, I think we're going to try to take Dalton and Bailey to the Children's Museum of Austin. Looks like a fun place. Lori and I need to see how we can handle a couple of kids in a kid-friendly public place on our own. I hope it works out. If not, we'll have to have some backup plans....I know pizza is in our future...possibly a Chuck E. Cheese. We'll see.
Other good news - Carey came by Monday for her quarterly visit. It went well and we basically oogled and oogled Dalton and Bailey and how great they were. I did find out that there were a couple of financial items that I breezed over in class. Since I thought we were always just going to get one child, I didn't pay attention to the "two child" plan. Since we're getting two, we get more money to foster. Also, we could get adoption subsidies for both kids until they are eighteen. That's a ton of money. AND - if they go to a state school, their tuition will be paid for! How's that for good news?
I also found out that the time table may not be as long as I thought for them to come and stay with us permanently. After September 5th, it could take a couple of weeks. That's exciting. We've started letting ourselves dream about Halloween, school, football games, trips to the park.....it's all very exciting. I hope I can hold on to this excited feeling forever. It's made my days at work go by so much smoother - even on the really crappy days.
Still basking in the afterglow of meeting Dalton and Bailey. It's been an eventful week - both on the good side and the bad. It's hard keeping this news quiet. I'm a proud parent already, the damn has burst. It's like trying to hold back the flood waters. We told Lori's parents on Sunday and my parents on Monday. They both were extremely excited. However, I'm not sure they completely understand this. I agreed to tell my aunt in Rochester, New York, basically so my mother could have someone to talk to about it. She wants me to tell the pastor at church, who was one of our references. After I told my aunt, my wife gave me a stern talking to about reigning in information. They aren't our kids to talk about yet. Nobody needs to know some of the info. We have to protect the kids. I called my mom and told her to watch what she says....we're going to take things slow from here.
So....last night, while we had a CPS meeting with the CASA worker, my mother called my cellphone twice and the house once. When we got out of the meeting, they didn't answer. I assumed that something bad had happened. There was a message on one phone that they were at the church and "just wanted to say hello." So, we went to say hello...knowing it was something more. My mother was wanting us to announce to a roomful of people our news. We were both a little taken aback by it. I think my mom's feelings are hurt, but I have to look at the big picture. Everybody will know soon enough that we have kids. It really won't matter when everybody is told if this all works out. It is hard enough getting myself to limit my talk about them.
On Tuesday, we got a call from the kid's CASA worker, Nicole. Dalton and Bailey had spoken of her and it sounded like Nicole was someone they loved. Preston spoke good about her as well. It sounds like Nicole and Preston have been to hell and back over these kids, trying to keep the mom above water. She came across on the phone to Lori as "professional." We weren't too sure she was totally going to be on our side. She wanted to come out and see our house on Wednesday night. Something we very much wanted to happen.
Wednesday she showed up and we got a weird vibe from her at the beginning. I'm sure she has had to fight many battles at the door for these kids and many others. She took some photos of our house for Preston. Then she asked the question I'm sure had been weighing on her mind for some time - "Will I be able to continue to be in the children's lives if you adopt them?" OF COURSE! Dalton and Bailey love her. We want any positive influence on them to continue as long as possible. After that was cleared up, Lori and I got a totally different vibe. We sat and talked for about an hour about how great these two kids are. Preston and Nicole both said they would adopt these kids if they possibly could. She seemed to really like us and we really like her. I told her we feel like we are adopting her and we'd set up a bed for her whenever she wanted to come over. I think it was a roaring success for us and for Nicole. At least I hope so. I hope she will be a valuable source of information and support in the near and distant future. I think she will.
Now, we try to set up Saturday. It's been tough on me this week. I'm really missing my little boy and girl. Lori seems to be holding together well....but I'm sure she has her moments too. We are playing it loose this weekend, but if it works out, I think we're going to try to take Dalton and Bailey to the Children's Museum of Austin. Looks like a fun place. Lori and I need to see how we can handle a couple of kids in a kid-friendly public place on our own. I hope it works out. If not, we'll have to have some backup plans....I know pizza is in our future...possibly a Chuck E. Cheese. We'll see.
Other good news - Carey came by Monday for her quarterly visit. It went well and we basically oogled and oogled Dalton and Bailey and how great they were. I did find out that there were a couple of financial items that I breezed over in class. Since I thought we were always just going to get one child, I didn't pay attention to the "two child" plan. Since we're getting two, we get more money to foster. Also, we could get adoption subsidies for both kids until they are eighteen. That's a ton of money. AND - if they go to a state school, their tuition will be paid for! How's that for good news?
I also found out that the time table may not be as long as I thought for them to come and stay with us permanently. After September 5th, it could take a couple of weeks. That's exciting. We've started letting ourselves dream about Halloween, school, football games, trips to the park.....it's all very exciting. I hope I can hold on to this excited feeling forever. It's made my days at work go by so much smoother - even on the really crappy days.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
What An AMAZING Day
Today I met my son and daughter.
How many parents get to say that? And it was everything that you imagine it would be like. Amazing. Unreal. Emotional. FUN. Overwhelming. and about a thousand other adjectives that I can find the words for. The powers that be will tell you that I am jumping the gun. But you try to take these kids away from me and see what happens! If something happens and I'm not allowed to keep these two kids, you better have proof that they are going to a better home than mine to get the love they need. I'm certain one doesn't exist. It's everything I could have asked for and more.
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink. I went to bed at 9:30 and thought I got a good nights sleep. I rolled over and looked at the clock and it was midnight. For the next six hours, I tossed and turned the whole time. I finally forced myself out of bed at 6 so I could calm my nerves and not wake Lori. I had a peaceful morning, imagining the morning that was to come. We left at 8:30 in pretty good shape. Both of us nervous, but able to keep it together.
We got to the McDonalds in Taylor and called the caseworker. He was just leaving Elgin with the kids and would be another 20 minutes. We sat quietly in a big booth, trying not to freak out too much. Every open door was them. At one point, a man walked in with two blonde children....but he was holding another baby. He smiled as he walked passed us to the counter. My wife told me to quit staring, but I thought that might be them. He walked passed us and paused for a second, enough for Lori to start standing and saying hello.....then he walked right on passed to his table. We both shared a nervous giggle. After that, I started spying on the parking lot.
Minutes later, I saw another car pull up with three kids in it. This time I was certain. Preston, the kids' caseworker, had brought his own six year old son along.
Meeting Dalton and Bailey for the first time was unreal and life-changing. They had already been told our names and why we wanted to meet them. They were eager to meet us, but then quickly shifted their attention to the play-area outside. We picked up and moved to some tables outside. The first 15 minutes was a blur of activitiy. Handshakes and hellos with Preston through laughter and chasing the kids. We snapped a few quick photos in front of Ronald McDonald to make sure we didn't forget later. A giant game of "you can't catch me" ensued.....and they were right....I couldn't.
After the first round of slides and tunnels, they came over to the table and discovered the blue and pink bag we had prepared the previous day. We knew Dalton liked Star Wars and got him a coloring book with stickers. We got him a transformer car/robot, a Matchbox car, and a notebook to draw in. The transformer car was a hit. Bailey got a little "Petshop" cat, a couple of pony dolls, a My Little Pony coloring book, and a notebook. It was ALL a hit with her.
Bailey - We equally bonded with both kids I think. But what a charmer this little girl is! Cute round faces with the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen. And she is as fiercely independent as any woman. She wanted to order her own food, fill her own cup, get her own katsup, get her own napkins. Nobody waits on this girl! When we asked her if she wanted a cheeseburger or chicken nuggets, her answer was "Both." When we asked her what she wanted to drink, "All of it. A little coke, sprite, dr. pepper, Mr. Pibb all mixed up together" My favorite response came when she was asked what her favorite color was - "I like pink and red and all of them." She doesn't have time to pick a favorite when she can have them ALL.
Dalton - We took plenty of pictures....but it seemed like every time I tried to snap one of Dalton, he was running away from me to the next adventure. He is very intense and you could tell he has carried a lot of the worry for him and his sister. He worried that he's lost something or forgotten something. But, when he isn't worried, he's funny. And - I have to say, I don't know of a six year old that can read as well as he can. He was reading the menu, the play-set rules, etc. just like he was having a conversation. I'm not sure >>I<< read as well as he does. He had the caseworker's son there to play with him and we continued our game of "can't catch me" throughout the morning. We ran the cars down the slides, or "ramps" to watch them jump. Highly entertaining.
The two hours went by in no time. By the end, we were sure. We hope and pray that Preston is sure. We hope and pray even harder that Dalton and Bailey are sure. Lori was a little nervous about taking on two kids. Once we read their psyc. evaluations, she felt a little better about things but still had that concern that the kids and us wouldn't connect. We gave each other the "....and that's o.k" speech on the way in, giving ourselves an excuse if things didn't work out....
But did they ever work out. I'm not supposed to say it....I'm not supposed to even think it.....Lori is avoiding it......but these are MY kids now. If you are going to take them away from me, I need to know that the situation they are going ot is better than what Lori and I have to offer. I will fight for these kids at this point. We're confident that Preston was comfortable with us. We hope he liked us as much as we love the kids. He's been with them since day one. He knows these kids better than their own parents. He wants to see them go to the right family. We hope that's us.
We expect to get a call from the foster mother so we can come visit them next week. We want to bring them some clothes for school. We'll get to take them out to eat and play a little bit. Then, on September 5th, they're coming here to spend the night. I'm excited about that. After that......we're back to the great unknown. School is a factor. I'm ready today, but I know that these kids have been moved around more than any kid deserves to. I don't blame anyone for taking their time at this point. They're in a good place right now. There is too many kids there....but they're in a good place.
Overall, it has just been an amazing day. It has been THE best day of my life. I miss my kids today. I'm a little sad about that. But I'm thrilled that I have the opportunity to be sad about that. Soon, they'll be here all the time. I have to put all my hope into that.
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