When we got home from class last night we were both tired. Lori's parents come over and "babysit" the dog while we are at class and when we get home, we get to give them the replay of class. I enjoyed this class SO much more than the first. We got to interact more with the other families and the information that we got was much more REAL (phone numbers, what assistance we are entitled to, etc) as opposed to "Adoption = Love" type emotional stuff.
One of the "Teamwork" activities put my puzzle solving abilities to work. We split up into two teams. Each team (8 people) had to stand on a blanket. The goal was to turn the blanket upside down without stepping off of it. The other team was in a circle and they took 3 minutes or so to do it their way. We started doing it that way...but after the first couple of seconds, I figured it out. I had them stand in a straight line on the blanket. Twisted one end and stepped onto the backwards part. Lady behind me did the same thing. We were done in 20 seconds. I don't think our teacher thought we did it right. So, we did it again. The goal was to show teamwork and I think we did. But more importantly, we broke a record. Wait. Maybe teamwork was more important.
During our break, we went across the street to get a drink and talked with another couple who has adopted 3 kids from "family" (they didn't want to say who exactly). This "family" just had another baby that they want to foster until he is 2 (for financial reasons) so they have to take the class. They know as much if not more than anybody in the class about adoption and fostering. Their journey to get where they are is fascinating. We quizzed the assistant teacher more on her fostering stories and got some good information.
The class itself isn't as interesting as being in the room with 10 other couples that are all anxiously awaiting a child in their house. I think our instructor understands that. Sometimes, I think she wants us to ask more questions and for the most part, this group is a little shy and doesn't want to talk. But, I think we did a lot better this time around than last time.
Next week is a holiday so there isn't another class for 2 weeks. Part of my homework is to list all the places I have lived since I was 18. That's 9 places. My parents, 3 apartments, then California, then with Mark, apartment with Lori, then our two houses. Out of those 9 places, I know four of the addresses. So....I get to research the dates and addresses for five places. Should be fun.
I've started working on the "Lifebook" and our "Family Album". Throughout the class, I have been struggling about if I should be just an "Adoption Only" or a "Adopt/Foster Legal Risk". The goal is to adopt. And if we only adopt, we are afraid we could be waiting for months and/or years to find the right match. It's not knowing how long it takes that makes us waiver. We have labeled ourselves "Adopt/Foster Legal Risk" to speed the process along. My wife is almost certain that the latter is what we need to do. After talking last night in class, I'm not so sure. I think the class is pushing for Foster parents. I think they have plenty of people that want to adopt. But, I think we are one of those "overachiever" families. I think, when this is all said and done, we have the perfect home, perfect situation, and perfect attitude that ALL CPS caseworkers would want to send their kids to. I asked if anyone had put their Family Albums online and the instructor didn't quite understand. I think an online album would be the BEST way to show a child about our family. It's quick, they won't lose it, and it can be updated easily. It's little ideas like that that make me think I have a better chance at this than most families that are going through the motions.
And if we foster a legal risk child, I think there are risk we haven't fully explored yet. We keep hearing that sometimes they have to place a child quickly. Lori and I would JUMP at the first opportunity. I know we would. We would tell ourselves "don't get too attached at first - we're just fostering. We don't HAVE to adopt the first kid that falls in our lap." But, really - I can't see either one of us parting ways after having a child stay with us for a couple of weeks. If we did, I think we both would be heartbroken beyond belief.
As we get closer to the end of class, we need to discuss it further. The good thing is, we don't have to decide for a long time.
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