I don't want to jinx it.

If you're reading this - don't overreact. At least, that's how we're trying to handle it here today.

We have achieved the "next step" in the adoption process. We've been selected as a finalist. Today - in less than an hour, there will be a room full of six people to talk about a little two year old girl. One of the people in the room is going to be our case worker representing us. There will be two other family's case workers, the little girl's case worker, and the foster mom and dad.

And - it's very possible that by three p.m. today, I'll know if I'll get the chance to be this little girl's dad. I don't have much information at all. I just know she's healthy and happy. I know her age, race, name.....and that's it. I usually know more about the child's background than I do hers....but that's o.k. Knowing too little is a good sign at this stage. That means there are no major red flags.

My case worker e-mailed me about her over a month ago and we didn't pay too much attention. She e-mailed the same day about 3 other kids with far bigger things to read about that Lori and I discussed in detail. We didn't discuss this little girl because there wasn't much to talk about. Two year old healthy happy girl? Sign us up. No brainer.

Then - poof - we hear about this meeting today. We went from nothing to this in five hours. And honestly, we're prepared for either way. Lori is still without a job and we figure that might be involved in the conversation today. But, financially, we're doing pretty good considering, with money set aside just for the fostering/adoption. If we don't get this little girl, there will only be a small amount of disappointment. If we do, I think we're ready for that too. Lori is home, I have two weeks of vacation saved up and it's the best time so far this year for me to take it.

If it does work out, we're anxious to see a picture, have a million questions, most of which we don't even know yet. It's funny because we just ran into a couple last night that was in our adoption class and we talked about the waiting and how difficult it was. Both couples admitted we're setting ourselves up for a year long wait. I made the joke that after all that talking, something was going to happen tomorrow. And here it is.

Anyway....for those that are following this blog, no news tonight or tomorrow will be bad news, but not real bad news. We're just happy that we've achieved another step in the whole process. We're still very aware that it's whats best for these kids and not really what we want at this point.

I know where the meeting is. It's taking everything for me NOT to get in the car and drive and sit in the parking lot and tackling my case worker on the way out. It's just a meeting that might affect the rest of my life. But then again....it may be just a meeting.